The spiritual awakening faux pas

The Awakening Process: A Journey of Conscious Transformation

Let’s skip the pleasantries this time, as there is much to unpack. Set aside any distractions—turn off the TV, don your reading glasses, and grab a comforting cup of tea (or wine, if that suits you better). This is important, so listen closely.

Like most popular concepts circulating the internet, the idea of a "spiritual awakening" has been dissected, reimagined, and regurgitated by countless content creators. As someone who’s often been drawn into the allure of self-proclaimed spiritual experts, I can admit that I, too, have fallen victim to the enticing promises of “happiness” offered through superficial solutions—like the universally popular:

A beautifully designed affirmation journal, now available for the low price of $25.99!

But what if I told you that true fulfillment could be achieved without a single dollar spent on these items? Instead, the price would be a period of profound emotional turmoil—a phase of conscious suffering that would, in turn, propel you toward a deeper, more authentic, and grounded version of yourself.

Are you intrigued yet? Well, allow me to explain.

Through years of personal experience and conversations with others on this path, I have developed a framework for understanding the awakening process. It’s important to note that this framework is not universal. Each individual’s awakening will unfold in a unique manner, but my observations, informed by my journey and the stories of others, suggest certain stages that may resonate with many.

Phase 1: The Epiphany

I’ve often discussed the notion of a "turning point," a pivotal moment that marks the beginning of an awakening. Many ask how one knows when they've experienced such a moment. The answer, though subjective, is simple: you just know. This first realization often comes with a sudden clarity—a moment where the fog lifts, and everything seems to make sense. It’s akin to the “Ah-ha!” moment when you solve a complex problem after much contemplation.

In this phase, the world around you seems clearer, and your mind begins to make connections you hadn’t noticed before. You start to see yourself more clearly—your behaviors, reactions, and patterns of thought come into focus. It’s exhilarating, overwhelming even, as you feel as though you’ve been reborn. It’s a state of awakening.

Phase 2: Yoga, Crystals and all things pretty…

Naturally, the excitement of this awakening propels many of us down an ever-deepening rabbit hole of spiritual exploration. You dive into YouTube videos, Instagram accounts adorned with serene aesthetics, and podcasts brimming with positive affirmations. While these resources are often a necessary starting point, they can also be misleading.

A significant pitfall in this phase is falling prey to the well-marketed "spiritual gurus" who focus primarily on surface-level practices—yoga, crystals, vision boards, and overly simplistic affirmations. These individuals often present an image of perfect peace, promoting an idealized, shallow version of spirituality that appeals to the masses. While these practices can be beneficial as part of an overall healing journey, they are not the panacea some claim them to be.

Beware of the allure of spiritual bypassing, the tendency to use feel-good rituals as a means of avoiding deeper emotional work. Spirituality, in its truest form, is not about adhering to a set of prescribed rituals or behaviors. It’s not an identity to be worn as a badge of honor. Instead, it’s an inherent aspect of our being. True spiritual growth lies in the integration of both light and shadow—the conscious and unconscious parts of our nature—ultimately leading us toward wholeness.

Phase 3: The Dark Night of the Soul

After the initial phases of awakening, you may encounter a plateau. Despite your best efforts—morning routines, meditation, and healthy habits—the emotional and spiritual satisfaction that once seemed so attainable begins to fade. This is where frustration sets in. You begin to feel unfulfilled, drained, and disconnected. You snap at loved ones, struggle with low self-esteem, and seek temporary distractions, such as numbing through unhealthy behaviors.

This is the threshold to the Dark Night of the Soul, a phase in which the very foundation of your life begins to crumble. You start to see that your previous methods of self-improvement—your affirmations and rituals—were mere surface-level fixes, and that something deeper within you needed transformation. This phase often brings a sense of emptiness, disillusionment, and loss, as you realize that your past methods of coping and living were insufficient.

Yet, amid the despair, there arises a profound thirst for inner healing. You begin to yearn for authentic connections, and your focus shifts from external validation to self-exploration. This is when you begin to engage with your shadow self—the hidden, suppressed aspects of your personality—and confront the intergenerational trauma that has shaped your emotional patterns.

If you are currently navigating this phase, allow yourself to grieve. This is a time of shedding your old identity, a period of profound transformation. You may feel a pervasive sense of loss, but it is an essential part of the process. Embrace this transition as you make room for the emergence of your true, whole self.

Phase 4: Rebirth and Integration

The final stage of the awakening process is less linear than the previous phases. It’s not unusual to oscillate between stages, revisiting previous lessons and challenges. Life continues, with its inevitable heartaches, betrayals, and frustrations. Yet, after doing the necessary work, dealing with these difficulties becomes significantly easier.

In this phase, you begin to quiet the ego—not to destroy it (as is often mythologized), but to understand its protective mechanisms. The ego, shaped by past experiences and conditioning, serves to protect us from perceived threats. For instance, if you grew up with a critical parent, your ego might react defensively to criticism, triggering a fight-or-flight response.

Once you begin to understand the ego’s role, you can shift from reacting to responding. The need for validation diminishes, and you place greater value on interpersonal harmony and compassionate interactions. The dualities of “good” and “bad” fade, and you begin to see the interconnectedness of all beings. You realize that labels like "toxic" are often projections of our own unresolved issues. This newfound empathy allows you to engage with others in a deeper, more meaningful way.

At this stage, you may feel more grounded and connected to your authentic self and the universe. Your life no longer revolves around external validation or distractions. True peace comes not from external practices or affirmations, but from a deep integration of all aspects of your being.

In closing, my fellow traveler on this path, I hope that you continue to meet yourself with compassion and progress as you embark on this transformative journey toward wholeness. If you haven’t yet begun, I am excited for you to take the first steps. Together, we can ignite a collective awakening and create a more harmonious world for ourselves, our loved ones, and future generations.

Until then,
Sending love and light.

Sending love & light.